Have you ever….

Have you ever feel lost all of a sudden, not knowing what you should do next, and very unsure of what lies ahead?

I’m feeling it now. The insecurity is overwhelming.

When I was still schooling, my concerns revolved around school; “What modules should I bid for next semester?”, “How am I gonna do the projects?”, “Do I have time to complete the projects and study for exams?”, “How will I fare this semester?” – all school related (maybe because I wasn’t as conscious as others, about where and what to work as upon graduation).

It’s a different story now. The transition is huge – from a student to a working adult. The things that changed are not only the title, occupation, but also the responsibilities, duties, role, and so many more that comes with it.

A routine life; eat, sleep, work and occasional hangout with friends. As time passes, life starts to turn mundane, and the goals you started out with, starts to blur.

It’s really scary when one doesn’t have goal in life. That’s not me. But recently, I realised the road ahead is blurred.

I’m still relatively new to the working industry and trying to adapt to the pace and the environment. But after stepping into the working world, I’ve been asking myself, what do I want in future? What am I working for? What are my goals? Where am I heading? I know perhaps it’s because I’m still at the adaptation stage after the transition that my vision ahead is blurred.

I’m trying very hard to lay a path for myself, trying to make concrete plans.

“Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?”, it’s not just an interview question, not just another question in Finishing Touch (a module in SMU) class. It’s really a question that I have to ask myself, decide what I want, and make plans.

Only I know what I want in life. If I’m not doing anything to get myself out of the insecurities, nobody can.